Tag: self publishing contracts

For three weeks I have been examining the top ten funniest self-publishing contractual clauses from competitors and dissecting what the legalese means and why each clause is “funny.”  What is perhaps funniest of all is that all ten of these clauses have been from the same single competitor.

#1 Funniest Clause from the Competitor’s Contract – You acknowledge that you have no input or control over the price at which your Titles are sold.

What it means: It seems pretty clear what it means.

Why it’s funny: What’s “funny” (i.e., worrisome) is that some authors are willingly relinquishing control over their own books to such a degree.

Wouldn’t you rather publish a book with Outskirts Press, where the sixth clause in our author-friendly contract is: “AUTHORS SET THEIR OWN RETAIL PRICE to any price ending in .95 cents, provided the Retail Price exceeds the Wholesaler’s Price.”   (And between you and  me, if you don’t want your book ending in .95, it doesn’t have to).

For the last 2 weeks I’ve been examining the top ten funniest self-publishing contractual clauses from competitors and dissecting what the legalese means and why it’s “funny.” This week we’re doing the top three and yesterday I did #3. Here’s the…

2nd Funniest Clause from the Competitor’s Contract – We will have sole discretion to determine the production, appearance and format of each Unit (for example, bar code placement).

What it means: You have no control over what your book looks like or even what size it’s going to be.

Why it’s funny: Can you imagine thinking you’re publishing an 8×5 paperback book only to receive a 8.5 x 11 hardback instead?  I’m not suggesting this competitor actually does such a thing — but… you have to wonder why it’s in their contract…

And tomorrow, the #1 funniest self-publishing contractual clause…

For the last 2 weeks I’ve been examining the top ten funniest self-publishing contractual clauses from competitors and dissecting what the legalese means and why it’s “funny.”  This week we’re doing the top three.

3rd Funniest Clause from the Competitor’s Contract – We may terminate this Agreement at any time by sending you an e-mail notice at the e-mail address associated with your account. Our notice of such termination will be effective at the time we send you the notice. Upon termination, you will pay us whatever fees were incurred prior to the date of the termination.

What it means: They can stop working with you and your book at any time for any reason with nothing more than an email, at which time you are still required to pay them whatever you owe them, regardless of whether they actually delivered upon the Agreement’s terms (since, you know, they’ve just terminated it).

Why it’s funny:  Why isn’t it funny? And adding insult to injury are the other clauses in this particular competitor’s contract that I covered last week–after the contract is terminated, this publisher still gets to store your entire book’s content on its servers and continue displaying your book on its website, forever…)

Tomorrow, #2…

For a while now I’ve been examining the top ten funniest self-publishing contractual clauses from competitors and dissecting what the legalese means and why it’s “funny.” We’re to number four…

4th Funniest Clause from the Competitor’s Contract – We may disclose or use Feedback for any purposes whatsoever without any obligation (including any financial obligation) to you. In addition, if you are participating in a beta program, you agree to provide us with any reports we request and to promptly respond to any and all reasonable inquiries, questionnaires, surveys and other test documents we submit to you.

What it means: If you give them any ideas to improve their business or company, they won’t pay you, and if they ask you to do work for them (like running reports or answering questions), you have to do it.

Why it’s funny: The first part is reasonable, although it’s entertaining that they even felt the need to include it in a contract, but the second part is ridiculous. Customers don’t have to run reports for companies and answer surveys offered by publishers, and putting that in a contract doesn’t make it any more likely that people will do what they don’t want to do.

Wouldn’t you rather publish your book with Outskirts Press, where we work for you, rather than the other way around?

Next week, the top 3….

For a while now I’ve been examining the top ten funniest self-publishing contractual clauses from competitors and dissecting what the legalese means and why it’s “funny.” Last week I looked at the 10th, 9th, and 8th funniest contractual clauses. So far this week I’ve looked at #7 and #6… We’re half way done.

5th Funniest Clause from the Competitor’s Contract – Accordingly, for each of your written Titles you hereby grant us permission, on a nonexclusive, perpetual basis, to (x) reproduce and store the entirety of each Title in digital form on one or more computer facilities of or under the control of us or our affiliates or our independent contractors;

What it means: They can keep (and reproduce at will) the entire contents of your book’s copyright-protected material on their website (and other ambiguous “affiliate or independent contractors”) computers and servers forever, even after after you terminate the contract with them.

Why it’s funny: You’re basically relinquishing all control over your book’s materials to this other publisher.

Wouldn’t you rather keep 100% of your rights and 100% of the control by publishing a book with Outskirts Press?

Next time, #4…

For the last several posts I have been examining the top ten funniest self-publishing contractual clauses from competitors and dissecting what the legalese means and why it’s “funny.” Last week I looked at the 10th, 9th, and 8th funniest contractual clauses. Yesterday I looked at #7.

6th Funniest Clause from the Competitor’s Contract – Our use of the Descriptive Materials may become integral to us throughout the term of this Agreement and will continue beyond the term of this Agreement even though we will no longer produce or sell new Units after the term of this Agreement. Therefore, notwithstanding anything to the contrary herein, for Descriptive Materials and Promotional Clips, the license you grant us will be perpetual and royalty-free.

What it means: They can display information about your book on their website forever without paying you, even after they stop selling it or after you terminate the contract with them.

Why it’s funny: In most cases, authors terminate their publishing relationship with their publisher for one of two reasons. 1) They’ve either gotten a contract from another publisher and need to pull the “old version” of the book from availability or, 2) They have irreconcilable differences with the publisher and wish to cut all ties.    This contractual clause from this competitor prevents its authors from doing either.

Next time, #5…

All this week I’ve been examining the top ten funniest self-publishing contractual clauses from competitors and dissecting what the legalese means and why it’s “funny.” I did the 10th, 9th, and 8th last week. And of course, it goes without saying that this topic of contractual clauses around Christmas is very punny. Here’s #7:

7th Funniest Clause from the Competitor’s Contract – All statements and other accountings will be conclusive, final and binding, unless you give us written notice stating the specific basis for objection within one year after the date the payment was rendered. You will not maintain any action or proceeding against us or our affiliates in respect of any disputed statement unless you commence that action or suit against us within 6 months following the date that you provide us with the written notice referred to in the immediately preceding sentence.

What it means: The amount they pay you is final, and unless you officially object to the amount within 1 year of payment, you can’t do anything about it.

Why it’s funny: Many companies have accounting clauses like this, because accounting processes require some period of time during which potential liabilities (royalties and objections) have to be carried on the books.  So I understand the reasoning for this, and drawing attention to this particular clause isn’t necessarily a “slam” on this publisher. It’s just funny because, here in America, customers can object to things any time they want, and rarely do contractual clauses prevent them from doing so (since we’ve already established that almost no one reads this particular competitor’s contracts anyway).   

Next time, #6…

Over the next few weeks I’ll examine the top ten funniest contractual clauses from our competitors and dissect what the legalese means and why it’s “funny.” I looked at #10 yesterday.

#9 Funniest Clause from the Competitor’s Contract – We will determine how to handle Customer returns of Units, which may include, without limitation (a) in the case of physical Units, placing the returned copy of the Unit into inventory and reselling it to another Customer, in which case we will have no obligation to pay you any Content License Royalty for the resale of such Unit (because we paid, or will pay, you for the original sale of such Unit);

What it means: This publisher is allowed to sell your book multiple times from its e-retail store, but only pay you for it once.

Why it’s funny: Authors have two major frustrations with the book publishing industry:  Book returns and the secondary market.   The secondary market is when a book is sold “used” over and over again without any compensation coming to the author.  Logistically this occurs because most bookstores don’t have a way of tracking secondary sales.  But even though this particular publisher does have a means of tracking secondary sales (and in fact, it’s e-retail store is huge)  it actively chooses not to recognize secondary sales nor compensate its authors for secondary sales.

Next time, #8…