President of Outskirts Press

For a while now I’ve been examining the top ten funniest self-publishing contractual clauses from competitors and dissecting what the legalese means and why it’s “funny.” Last week I looked at the 10th, 9th, and 8th funniest contractual clauses. So far this week I’ve looked at #7 and #6… We’re half way done.

5th Funniest Clause from the Competitor’s Contract – Accordingly, for each of your written Titles you hereby grant us permission, on a nonexclusive, perpetual basis, to (x) reproduce and store the entirety of each Title in digital form on one or more computer facilities of or under the control of us or our affiliates or our independent contractors;

What it means: They can keep (and reproduce at will) the entire contents of your book’s copyright-protected material on their website (and other ambiguous “affiliate or independent contractors”) computers and servers forever, even after after you terminate the contract with them.

Why it’s funny: You’re basically relinquishing all control over your book’s materials to this other publisher.

Wouldn’t you rather keep 100% of your rights and 100% of the control by publishing a book with Outskirts Press?

Next time, #4…

For the last several posts I have been examining the top ten funniest self-publishing contractual clauses from competitors and dissecting what the legalese means and why it’s “funny.” Last week I looked at the 10th, 9th, and 8th funniest contractual clauses. Yesterday I looked at #7.

6th Funniest Clause from the Competitor’s Contract – Our use of the Descriptive Materials may become integral to us throughout the term of this Agreement and will continue beyond the term of this Agreement even though we will no longer produce or sell new Units after the term of this Agreement. Therefore, notwithstanding anything to the contrary herein, for Descriptive Materials and Promotional Clips, the license you grant us will be perpetual and royalty-free.

What it means: They can display information about your book on their website forever without paying you, even after they stop selling it or after you terminate the contract with them.

Why it’s funny: In most cases, authors terminate their publishing relationship with their publisher for one of two reasons. 1) They’ve either gotten a contract from another publisher and need to pull the “old version” of the book from availability or, 2) They have irreconcilable differences with the publisher and wish to cut all ties.    This contractual clause from this competitor prevents its authors from doing either.

Next time, #5…

All this week I’ve been examining the top ten funniest self-publishing contractual clauses from competitors and dissecting what the legalese means and why it’s “funny.” I did the 10th, 9th, and 8th last week. And of course, it goes without saying that this topic of contractual clauses around Christmas is very punny. Here’s #7:

7th Funniest Clause from the Competitor’s Contract – All statements and other accountings will be conclusive, final and binding, unless you give us written notice stating the specific basis for objection within one year after the date the payment was rendered. You will not maintain any action or proceeding against us or our affiliates in respect of any disputed statement unless you commence that action or suit against us within 6 months following the date that you provide us with the written notice referred to in the immediately preceding sentence.

What it means: The amount they pay you is final, and unless you officially object to the amount within 1 year of payment, you can’t do anything about it.

Why it’s funny: Many companies have accounting clauses like this, because accounting processes require some period of time during which potential liabilities (royalties and objections) have to be carried on the books.  So I understand the reasoning for this, and drawing attention to this particular clause isn’t necessarily a “slam” on this publisher. It’s just funny because, here in America, customers can object to things any time they want, and rarely do contractual clauses prevent them from doing so (since we’ve already established that almost no one reads this particular competitor’s contracts anyway).   

Next time, #6…

Over the next few weeks I’ll examine the top ten funniest contractual clauses from our competitors and dissect what the legalese means and why it’s “funny.” I looked at #10 yesterday.

#9 Funniest Clause from the Competitor’s Contract – We will determine how to handle Customer returns of Units, which may include, without limitation (a) in the case of physical Units, placing the returned copy of the Unit into inventory and reselling it to another Customer, in which case we will have no obligation to pay you any Content License Royalty for the resale of such Unit (because we paid, or will pay, you for the original sale of such Unit);

What it means: This publisher is allowed to sell your book multiple times from its e-retail store, but only pay you for it once.

Why it’s funny: Authors have two major frustrations with the book publishing industry:  Book returns and the secondary market.   The secondary market is when a book is sold “used” over and over again without any compensation coming to the author.  Logistically this occurs because most bookstores don’t have a way of tracking secondary sales.  But even though this particular publisher does have a means of tracking secondary sales (and in fact, it’s e-retail store is huge)  it actively chooses not to recognize secondary sales nor compensate its authors for secondary sales.

Next time, #8…

We do a lot of competitive analysis at Outskirts Press to constantly make sure Outskirts Press remains the best self-publishing company.  There are a lot of other reviews and comparisons of self-publishers that can be found on the Internet, too, and I wrote about those, and how we rank among them, in series of blog posts cumulating with this one here.  During my own recent review of our competitors I stumbled across some entertaining  (at least to me) clauses in self-publishing contracts and had to ask myself, “Do authors actually read these agreements before they pay some of these companies?”  I think in many cases, the answer is no, because would YOU sign something containing clauses like these?

The Top 10 Funniest Self-Publishing Clauses Found in Our Competitor’s Contracts

10. You will provide a List Price for each Title which will be at or below (a) the price at which you list or offer that title via any other sales channel; and (b) the price at which you sell such title in physical form to customers through any distribution method.

9. We will determine how to handle Customer returns of Units, which may include, without limitation (a) in the case of physical Units, placing the returned copy of the Unit into inventory and reselling it to another Customer, in which case we will have no obligation to pay you any Content License Royalty for the resale of such Unit (because we paid, or will pay, you for the original sale of such Unit);

8. We may, in our sole discretion, at any time, and without notice to you remove, or refuse to list or distribute any Content on or from any sales channel, but you will remain liable for all fees and other amounts that you may owe under this Agreement in connection with any Title or Promotional Clip we remove because of a violation of this Agreement or our Content Guidelines.

7. All statements and other accountings will be conclusive, final and binding, unless you give us written notice stating the specific basis for objection within one year after the date the payment was rendered. You will not maintain any action or proceeding against us or our affiliates in respect of any disputed statement unless you commence that action or suit against us within 6 months following the date that you provide us with the written notice referred to in the immediately preceding sentence.

6. Our use of the Descriptive Materials may become integral to us throughout the term of this Agreement and will continue beyond the term of this Agreement even though we will no longer produce or sell new Units after the term of this Agreement. Therefore, notwithstanding anything to the contrary herein, for Descriptive Materials and Promotional Clips, the license you grant us will be perpetual and royalty-free.

5. Accordingly, for each of your written Titles you hereby grant us permission, on a nonexclusive, perpetual basis, to (x) reproduce and store the entirety of each Title in digital form on one or more computer facilities of or under the control of us or our affiliates or our independent contractors;

4. We may disclose or use Feedback for any purposes whatsoever without any obligation (including any financial obligation) to you. In addition, if you are participating in a beta program, you agree to provide us with any reports we request and to promptly respond to any and all reasonable inquiries, questionnaires, surveys and other test documents we submit to you.

3. We may terminate this Agreement at any time by sending you an e-mail notice at the e-mail address associated with your account. Our notice of such termination will be effective at the time we send you the notice. Upon termination, you will pay us whatever fees were incurred prior to the date of the termination.

2. We will have sole discretion to determine the production, appearance and format of each Unit (for example, bar code placement).

1. You acknowledge that you have no input or control over the price at which your Titles are sold. 

Next we’ll examine each clause one by one and I’ll explain what each of these clauses actually means for an author, and why they’re kind of funny (and a little scary that people are agreeing to them). Stay tuned…